


wherever i'm with you

by takenbythewater



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drabble Collection, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-03-12 14:26:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takenbythewater/pseuds/takenbythewater
Summary: a place to put all the erwin/levi fics that aren't part of something larger or are just short little things, mostly the fluffy stuff





	1. fluff

**Author's Note:**

> I am very out of practice and I hate that it took so much effort for me to churn out so little, but I hope as time goes on my writing won't be as stiff. I hope you enjoy it anyway and thank you for taking the time to read it!

 

     He hadn’t been all that worried before the rain started. Levi was always a bit anxious when Erwin was out of his reach, The Commander  could fend for himself well enough in most cases, but there was always a nagging feeling in his chest, tugging at him whenever he let his thoughts wander, whenever his hands weren’t busy.

    He’d kept himself occupied, trying not to think of how Erwin was probably fielding complaints from those parasites in Mitras, how they were probably hoping to pick him apart just to save the pittance they paid in taxes to support the corps-

      

     He should've gone with him. If anything happened and he wasn't there-

        

     Like clockwork, the rain started to fall then. Rain, too, made him uneasy. Even before that first foray outside the walls, it only brought all the trash from the surface down into the underground and the dampness it left always seemed to make his mother sicker. It wasn’t like he consciously thought it was an ill-omen, but the association was a hard one to shake no matter how hard he tried to reason with himself. He was never quite sure what he thought would happen, only that _something_ might.

     The next hours were spent scrubbing the floors, organizing and reorganizing whatever he could find to place in order, looking through the foggy window and hoping to see a carriage coming up the road before it got dark, before the storm worsened.

    

     Erwin wasn’t fragile, he was one of the strongest people that Levi had ever met, but even knowing this didn’t put him at ease. There were so many things that could still take him away.

     The sun began to set while he busied himself with tasks he’d all but made up, and with the fading of the light came the late autumn chill.

     He lit the fireplace. The storm would drown out the sound of hoofbeats, anyway. Maybe Erwin was held up downstairs. Maybe he’d been fucking assassinated. Maybe he was dying, bleeding out in some alley where no one would even find him until the smell got worse.

     Levi shoved his palm into his temple. Stop it, he repeated in his head over and over. Stop it, dumbass, it was just another damned meeting.

     He turned toward the door, not quite sure what he intended to do, since marching out to stand in the pouring rain wouldn’t get him home any faster, when it opened slowly, almost shyly from the other side.

     Out in the hall, stood Erwin. He was absolutely sopping wet, his bangs plastered to his forehead in a shaggy mess, the water turning his blond hair dark with the weight of it. The long, thin coat he wore had been soaked through and then some. He gave a sheepish sort of smile, and Levi all but yanked him inside, slamming the door behind them both.

     Erwin watched, dazed, as Levi took off toward the other room with a speed usually only reserved for the battlefield. He began to wonder if he’d upset him, being this late, but his thoughts were interrupted by a sudden absence of light and a warm weight over his head.

       “What in the hell happened to you? Are you alright? Get those clothes off, they’re soaked through and it’s next to fucking freezing, you’ll get sick.” Levi spoke quickly, almost too quickly, a nervous tic of his. Erwin, a towel tossed over his head and currently being scrubbed over his hair and face by a pair of very nervous little hands, was in no position to answer. Levi moved the towel over the back of his head to free up his mouth after the pitiful mumble Erwin had offered in response. His hair stuck up in all directions and his eyes were lidded and dazed.

 

     “Ah, it was nothing, Levi. I’m alright.”  He leaned into the warmth of Levi’s hand at his jaw, his brows knit together when he realized that he’d been standing on his toes this whole time, straining his legs.

 

     “You’re a mess, were you just standing outside for a chat with the driver?” Levi slipped his hands underneath the shoulders of Erwin’s coat, peeling it off and leaving it on the floor.

 

     “Ah..,” Erwin scrubbed at the back of his neck with his hand, a classic tell of his. “The driver, Headquarters was far out of his way and his children were waiting up for him,” Levi had already begun to narrow his eyes, lips beginning to form what Erwin could only call a pout, “So…, I rode the rest of the way.”

    “From where, Erwin?”

  


      “Is it really--,” Erwin thought better of it, as soon as he looked at Levi’s face, “Stohess District.”

     Levi grumbled unintelligibly, taking hold of Erwin’s hand and leading him to sit in front of the fireplace before he was off again. He returned more quickly this time, arms loaded with another towel and some of Erwin’s clothes. He deposited them in front of Erwin in a neat pile, flopping onto the floor next to him and wrapping the second towel around his shoulders. Levi was silent for a moment, cast in the warm glow of the fire.

“You’re a brilliant man, Erwin. Smart as a whip, but times like this, you make me wonder.”

 

The laughter that burst from his lips startled even Erwin himself, and Levi was helpless not to crack a smile at the sound of it.

“What’re you laughing at?” He growled, but with no malice behind it, a crooked little smile still on his face. Erwin started to peel off the drenched pieces of his uniform, replacing each in turn with one of the pieces of clothing Levi had brought out to him to avoid the cold. He wasn’t completely dry, but he already felt warmer than he knew possible, bathed in firelight.

 

“Levi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you,” He leaned to one side, settling onto his elbow in front of the couch “I didn’t think the storm would last as long as it did.”

 

“ You don’t have to put yourself at risk just to let someone else off easier, it’s not that far by carriage and you both would have been dry, at least,” He knew that Erwin would continue to deny himself, continue to try and atone for whatever sins he believed himself to have committed, but he had to at least try to convince him not to keep depriving himself of the comfort he would never deny someone else.

 

“I guess I have to forgive you then,” Levi sighed, leaning back against the couch and stretching his legs out, patting his thigh in a clear invitation. Erwin slid closer, resting his head in Levi’s lap. Levi scoffed and tugged him into his arms, tucking him close against his chest. His hands immediately found their way into Erwin’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp, “Coming in here looking like a lost little puppy,”

 

“Are you saying I’m cute?”  Erwin’s expression remained deadly serious but for the little light in his eyes, teasing.

 

“Doesn’t sound like something I would say. I must’ve meant that you smell like a wet dog.”

Erwin buried his face in the crook of Levi’s neck, sniffing at him like a hound on the trail of a scent, leaving goosebumps. He smiled against his skin, growling low in his throat.

 

“Mongrel,” Levi shook his head, feigning irritation. Erwin reached underneath his shirt and gave his stomach a pat in an attempt to pacify him, before wrapping his arms around him and settling back onto his chest, where Levi wanted him.

 

“I am sorry, Kitten. I should’ve at least let someone know before I set out from Stohess.” He felt his eyes growing heavy with ever brush of Levi’s fingers in his hair.

“Doesn’t matter now, you’re here, you’re warm and dry, you’ve been scolded,” Levi paused his list to kiss the top of Erwin’s head, almost like he couldn’t help himself, “ and you don’t _really_ smell that bad.”

Erwin gave a quiet chuckle at that, his breathing growing deep and even as he buried his face into Levi’s chest.

For the first time in months, he did not wake until morning.

 


	2. role-reversal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS ONE INCLUDES MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH
> 
>  
> 
> listen, i didn't proof read this, cried for an hour while writing it and had to go to bed.  
> listen to Hurts like Hell by Fleurie for the same experience as me.

     “It’s not your fault,” it isn’t real, Erwin knows that it cannot be real, “I know you think it is and you’re gonna punish yourself over and over and over unless I tell you to knock it off, and even then…”  
 

         Erwin balls his fist up in the fabric of the tattered cloak draped out over his bed, their bed. He can’t keep staring at it, it doesn’t change what he can see out of the corner of his eye in the chair across from him.

        Levi sits, legs crossed, one of Erwin’s white shirts almost swallowing him. No blood, no bruises, no tears. He wouldn’t want Erwin to remember him like that. The faint moonlight from the window casts him in a pale glow. He’s whole, safe, false.  
  
         “Levi, Levi I’m so sorry,” his voice is hoarse, he hasn’t spoken a sincere word in days, only platitudes out from underneath a cracked mask. It was a victory, it was a victory, it was a victory that tasted like ash in his mouth and meant even less. “You deserved so much--”

        “What did I just say, Erwin?” His vision blurs, wet with his grief, and Levi shakes his head and stands, comes to him,

   “The choice was mine. You made my life better, as good as it could be in this hellhole.” Erwin can’t lift his head to meet his eyes, instead he feels a warmth around his shoulders and all he can breathe in is Levi. He sobs, raw and ugly into the embrace, his face buried in the comfort of a body that isn’t there,

     “If you’re going to blame someone, blame that ugly, boulder-chucking, bastard, alright? I took him with me.”

     

      The last time he’d held Levi, the very last time, he was torn nearly in two.

     Erwin wrapped his cloak around him, watched it turn a muddy red as Levi’s hands seized in the fabric of his shirt. He was afraid, maybe of dying, absolutely of being alone. Erwin promised to get help, the serum, he would find where it fell- but Levi had only tightened his grip. _Don’t go, don’t leave me. I won’t. I won’t_. Levi had smiled at that, blood bubbling up over his lips as he sobbed, once, eyes squeezed shut. He was gone before midday. Erwin had clutched him to his chest, listened to his breathing slow and then stop. He swept the blood-matted mess of his hair back from his forehead, kissed him once where so often his brow would furrow. If only it was that way, If only he was sleeping. _Levi, thank you._

     “I’ve loved you,” Erwin’s voice creaks, old wood an inch away from giving and splintering, “I love you, I should have told you then-”  
  
     “I know,” Levi’s fingers card through his hair and Erwin can feel him sigh, longing, “I love you.”

     “I love you, Erwin,” he repeated, “ I love you and if you rush to meet me, I will kill you again myself.”  
         Erwin barks out a laugh that burns his throat. He always thought he would go to Hell, and he believes he’s there now.

       “I can wait. I’m patient. Take your time. See what you wanted to see, and then you can tell me about it. I’ll even make you coffee with a giant lump of sugar in it.”  
Levi settles onto his lap.  
     “I mean it, ok? I’m here now because you’re so close, but you can’t-” He lets himself be moved, Levi’s hands at his jaw. His eyes are the same, only now they’re swimming in tears. “You can’t come home to me yet, yeah? It’ll be a blink of an eye and you’ll be here anyway so don’t-. Don’t throw yourself away or you’re sleeping on the couch when you get here.”

     Of all things, Levi is trying to cheer him up. Levi who is dead, who died broken, cradled in his arm. He’s always getting far more than he deserves, is what he starts to think when Levi pinches his cheek.  
 

     “Alright,” He covers Levi’s hand with his own, “It’s a deal.”

      He wakes cold, head pounding and stomach burning. He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know the room is a mess. Empty bottles, some broken, his formal coat on the floor, boxes of letters scattered. He’ll get to it, he’ll be good and clean up, but for now he lays there and aches, hand curled around a cut of silky white cloth, faded stains hidden by his grip.

     Hours along, when he finally brings himself to rise and dress and play his part, he finds a gap in his closet where one of his shirts had been.


End file.
